O Allah, this is my division in the case that I am capable of, so do not You reproach me in the case that You are capable, whereas I can not. Your husband needs to know that youre going to be by his side if: You should be loyal to your husband before everything else except Allah and His Messenger (pbuh). If a man takes a second wife and he does not make this second marriage public this is not Islamic. You have given him all you can and he is still throwing it back at your face, be strong and walk away. So my long question is, is what I am doing wrong and how can I control my desires so as to please Allah. World female population is more than male population In the USA, women outnumber men by 7.8 million. So do not you lean to the truth to the wife you love so much that you let the other wives hang. He wasn't by my side, not even one bit. Im not even married but IN SHA ALLAH Ill marry the girl I love & the girl for whom Im praying. if a women is widowed i will request my husband to give her some property , provide education to childrens and also money. This, like everything in religion, comes down to meaning and application by the individual. I have been divorced two times. I liked him and I liked everything about him. my husband Mustapha and I his wife Maureen appreciate the verses from the Holy Quron but frankly the rest of what you say is either useless or wrong. yeah sure , hell like that. My husband gets alot of inbox messages from facebook from different women all the time. I cannot imagine that all married men think about taking another woman. Im sorry to say but the person that wrote this article is a complete idiot and appears to be very arrogant. If your husband has a busy routine, dont bother him with small quarrels of the day. Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and his companions, It's unpleasant and uncomfortable to be admonished. First the car then the shop, then the house. I know of at least five or more he been with them. Please advise me. but Allah ordered it in quran, the order of allah is justice because islam is full. I have also grown to have feelings for him but I try and hide it all the time.Is it possible for me to make istikaara whilst married and also what do we do? denying the rights of one who has treated her well. May Allah help you get the right understanding and stand firm on the Straight Path! Our prophet Muhammad (sallallahu alaihi wasallam) just simply said that if a woman lets her husband have sex with her, then Alhamdulillah. i have a daughter from my first marriage. This may happen to a lot of marriages but in different times. Really. Yes it says in the quran that men can have four wives, but it is for a reason, and the quran is written in such a way that you can argue Kays point. Be careful sisters. Sex releases stress. Then I firmly believe that there is absolutely no need for a man to have another wife. As far as the sex thing.the qaran does tell us this.hopefully our husbands are understanding and considerate of our feelings.but it is our obligation ..Overallthis article was very usefuland it helped me understand my husband a little moreas I am a revert from a western culture and my husband is north african.my biggest concern in our marriage has been that he doesnt talk and share with me as much I felt he should. Correct me if i am wrong. I thought that no one could love her husband the way I loved mine, but she taught me the true meaning of unconditional love. The same society, however, cannot accept a man having more than one wife, in which women retain their honourable, dignified position in society and lead a protected life. Agreed! sis if u r true Muslim then I would deeply advise you to fear ALLAH. We want a gorgeous hero for a husband ad much ad you want a gorgeous wife. While a man is always ready to cause the rise of this ummah. 1. Q. Then he came to him a second time, and he forbade it. Allah created men and women to be each others companions not competitors. The reason lies in the high rate of female infanticide in India, and the fact that more than one million female foetuses are aborted every year in this country, after they are identified as females. not want to and he still goes ahead with it? One day my brother told me that someone he knew is looking for a wife. patience out of faith and in the hope of reward will have a reward like that yeah we had a fight recently in which he was about to run his car over me.my knee was slightly swollen n pain.i cried a lot that day.its really painful cause we had loved marriage.thought would be happy.but know. This is what usually comes to mind when people talk about loyalty in a marriage.What Im talking about is knowing that the person whom youve chosen to spend the rest of your life with is going to be there for you when you really need them. So what happens when he is getting the respect, loyalty and physical attention from his wife and still seeking for wife no 2? The Prophet did warn men not to hurt their wives and then expect sex an hour later. He assured over a three year period he was singleno kids nothing. hello I am reading your article now in 2017. Create an account, If you do not have an account, you can click the button below to create one, Create new account Dont bother asking any men. Have more time for ur friends than her. I was married to a wonderful man for 16 years, until he passed away. also i think you should know that. Is it possible to have a premarital contract and express your total disagreement in case your husband marries another woman? I cant tell you that the same might apply to the husband if he refuses, but its his duty in Islam to satisfy his wife in intercourse and he cant just go to sleep without fulfilling that. (interpretation of the meaning): They are Libaas [i.e. How can this man do this to his wife and it seems as though she respected him, is loyal to him and gave him sexual pleasure. Ishmael and I met in 2018 on Muzmatch, a dating app for Muslims. People want things their way with other people so will only use that part of Islam that suits them. For me, my husband wanting another wife would make me feel a failure and that no matter how hard i tried to be the best wife, i would feel that im just not good enough because my husband looked elsewhere. There may be polygamy in order to spread Islam. He never mentioned a second wife again and I was happy with that. . This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. Then your info can get straight. Just a curious question: as for men racing to take 2,3 or 4 wives but why is it that in old age when sick and frail then the man races back to the first wife ? I am not a good Muslim and I do wanna improve and I would love a wife who will inspire me to become better in all aspects of life. He is weak in Taqwa. If both the partners worried more about providing the rights of the other rather than waiting to give rights only if they saw nothing missing in the rights they were getting, Im sure life will be a lot simpler. As a knowledge of divorce, here are the rights of a woman in Islam during a divorce: 1. @Paula- So sorry that you have to deal with all this:(. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience. From your question, it may be understood that Allaah has We dont need a list like this from some fool to tell us how to treat our husband or future husband. Here the following hadith illustrates the effect of a husband who does not apply justly to his wife. As in one of the hadith below is one of the stories how the Prophet SAW fair to his wives. I only protected what was mine. , Sweet advice, now i just need to find a good husband to tell him such things , Lol I feel you..I cant wait to get married to actually tell my huband these things.. :-D. Just be sure that you find the right person. Perfect for me, but he wants me to be his second wife. nothn. Now coming to the original question, why is a man allowed to have more than one wife? Why do you think men are willing to leave their jobs and risk starting a business? And Allah Knows Best. It was unacceptable. Krishna had several wives. 4787)). plz advice me thanks. A woman who cannot conceive a child doesnt have to be frigid. When a man calls his wife to his bed, and she does not respond and he (the husband) spends the night angry with her, the angels curse her until morning. yes, sex is not the only thing important in marriage, but it is the most important. Love or Respect: Which Do You Prefer?. Just my observation. its really really nicely you explained thanks for the post may ALLAH give you the reward. There would be more than four million females in Great Britain 5 million females in Germany and nine million females in Russia alone who would not be able to find a husband. or Ok guys , what I have to say has almost nothing to to with the article, and I apologize.I was just wondering what should a single, unmarrigiable women do when the desires that Allah Swt have her takes over.like I am under the marrigiable age. You might not like it or want to practice it but thats fine. This quick list is for the Muslim sisters in my audience. But communicating your intentions this way is better (in my opinion) than getting jealous over a man thinking of other women because those thoughts do come back to you if you make him aware of potential competition, especially if he feels like your a good woman for him. Its ridiculous. Thank you. grow up and stop playing the victim. ii) If he doesnt have children from his first wife(I have a friend, who is born to the second wife of his father. So really, #4 about him thinking of other women is not bad, that is his right. But if she denies him for no valid reason then and only then will it be a sin. 6. The problem is men hide their second marriage from their first wife which itself is a evidence of unjust behaviour which means he shouldnt go for second marriage as he is unable to do justice. Its important that Muslim women understand the value of respect for men, especially Muslim men. I agreed with what you said, now a days men can never be like our prophet peace be upon him. I am a practicing Muslim by birth. Salaam is it haram or halal to give ur husband ahead? He Wants To Have Sex More Often. - muslim1 Jan 3, 2013 at 3:47 1 This is an issue faced not just by women but also by men. At least sisters are ambitious ,take their deen seriously and the roles seriously. I am a converted Muslim(Hindu to Muslim) bt I learned Urdu. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Performance". I guess this is life and we should always say Alhamdulliah. (3) Dispute over marriage between the lady and her husband.. Marriage contract involving an unidentified woman: Death, if the.In general, the marriage of a married woman, or of . very nice.. now all we have to do is FIND ourselves nice husbands worthy of all what u have written in the article above..but to add a point, women are not servants.. they are mans partners.. equal partners in life. So.If the women is the bread winners, is the shoe on the other foot? and his wealth, until he meets Allaah with no sin on him. Classed as saheeh Dear sheikh, As-Salaam `Alaykmu wa Rahamtu Allah wa Barakatuh. love you or does he love himself and is only looking out for his own 14. 2 If a woman accepts that and treats her husband and the There are many going on right now as we speak, many man who die in war, many widows and children left alone, many divorces and broken families, more and more man who turn out to be gay. Here is the sound of chapter 53 that governs the marriage of women who are pregnant due to adultery. It is his conduct with his wives and living a life according to Islam that will determine where he ( and all muslims) will end up. You may want to read aboutSincere Islamic Ways to Treat Your Wife. The woman may be ill and cannot meet her husband's sexual needs. In the end your own integrity makes you stay loyal. wife). Source: I prayed a lot the day before and asked Allah to help me. but maybe you need to coax the poor little guy back into life, remember that little number he used to drive you crazy about all those years ago. Its true men think about other women, but that doesnt make it right. Polygyny is permitted in Judaism. Let's get this right out into the open.Some women might think men are narrow-minded brutes for this, but it's the truth.Men desire sex. loves Al-Muhsinoon (the gooddoers). It What makes a man leave his wife for another woman New York alone has one million more females as compared to the number of males, and of the male population of New York one-third are gays i.e sodomites. The writer is just writing on what is happening in our society. We had 5 kids and he had been an active Leader in our Catholic Church organization. Great Britain has four million more females as compared to males. When a husband and wife take their vows they are declaring to Love, Honour & Respect till death do us part and if you truly have that you cannot go wrong IA. More men die due to accidents and diseases than women. This article is a joke. This is not my version Islam. we commited mistakes..i am asking allah to forgive everythingis wat he doing is right in islam?? husbands doing haraam things than to their marrying another woman in a I have read it myself. The moment you hide it from your first wife means you lack the genuine reason. I really like your article however there are some contradictions in it. Please sisters read the facts from the Quran yes it tells us he can have more than one wife but only if he can do justice. Im sure each wife will be happy with that. Ep 32 Diff 11 Jan 23, Inde, 2022, 29 min. All the ladies grown up in west (myself included) like to think men and woman have the same rights ( I am not saying every body but there are some) . astaghfirullah at number 4!!!! Excerpted, with slight modifications, form: www.islam-qa.com Then came the third time, and he said: Marry a good and fertile woman, for I am proud of your multitudes against the other peoples.(HR Abu Dawud and Shaykh al-Albani), Another factor that allows a man to make a second marriage is due to an illness suffered by his wife. Marriage, Polygamy, Marital relationships. You can decide to divorce him. However sex is the biggest right of man in marriage. But there are no ex children. then how does looking and thinking of other women makes it completely normal and natural and unsinnful? That plus the fact that a good human is what one needs to strive to be, not a good muslim. A man in Islam should only marry no more and no less than 4 wives only. Women actually look at attractive men too. We were happily married that is at least what I thought. Thank you for making it clear, I was already shocked by the comments 0.0. I believe you know the wisdom behind this command of Allah swt. Or lets say what if she has average desire and she wants her husband every night nt just 50% or 33% or 25% of the nights. The sahaba were real men and were fighters and very responsible people. I pray to Allah Taaalaa that he gives us all the understanding of how a true Muslim should behave and that he forgives us all for all the wrong we have done in life, allowing us to die with strong Imaan and in the end enter us into Jannatul Firdaus. If it dont kill you then it can only make you stronger!!!! Women in 2017 dont need financial assistance from their spouse. Wow. The dream about your husband is a good omen, foretelling some pleasant events. Can he stay stay home with our children and have my dinners ready? Men are just not that good at showing emotion (unless were talking sports or politics). It really bothers me. Amen! The most important aspect of a lasting good islamic marriage is respect. Roles of man and wife are divided in Islam. However a few smart people before accepting, said they would prefer their sisters to remain virgins. For this reason, there are more deaths among males as compared to the females during paediatric age.